PFCLA

Jared and I woke up this morning with an "as to be expected" amount of anxiety. Today was the day we would take the first step towards adding another baby to our family!! Yikes!! Jared went and taught seminary as usual but said his lesson turned into a motivational speech. Probably more for us than them. I had the normal breakfast rush with the kids and then headed off for a run long enough to calm any jitters I was feeling.

We made the hour long drive to Westwood and tried not to acknowledge the obvious feelings that were swirling in both our minds. Things seemed to be going perfectly. We found parking right away, Lennix was is a great mood, we pushed the UP button in the elevator and then...we were home.

From the second we walked off the elevator, the receptionist had come around to greet us both with hugs and make us comfortable. From the financial coordinator to the Embryologist- they all came out of their offices to say hello. Lennix was her usual shy self but cute none the less. Then came the doctor. He walks out to see us and casually asks what we were doing here. (Most of his patients just stop by to say hello) I told him we were thinking about doing IVF again and his face says it all. Complete shock. He whisks us into his office and pulls up our information. "Well, if you're ever going to do it- nows the time." Great I thought. Nows the time. Because it had been so long since I had been tested for any abnormalities, he said that I had to be re-tested to make sure there weren't any new things we needed to address before we started a Cycle. (Each time we do IVF- they call it a cycle. Each "cycle" comes with it's own folder Labeled "Cycle" # _ , and a "cycle" calender. We've got a nice collection so far...we're up to 5 folders!)

Lennix starts to get fussy and is ready to get out of there. Jared and I were doing a good job wrangling her until the doctor kindly asks us to "let her go." He said, I want her to run around the office as she pleases. I explained that I was just trying to be considerate of the other women sitting in the waiting room who didn't have children. Yet. He said, "let her go- this is what the women want to see. They want to see that there is hope. That this is the end result they can have too." How true those words rang in my ears. With that, I let her go run free. When we were done talking to the doctor, we walked out and I looked around the waiting room. The same desperate, anxious, hormone raged look on all their faces- was one I recognized. I scooped Lennix in my arms and was reminded once again- there is hope. Another one of these squiggly squishy babies can be our end result again. Nows the time to do it.

Lennix and I said our goodbyes to the staff, and gave Jared a quick kiss as he headed into "the room" with his cup in hand. I made it down the elevator, 1 block down Gaylee St. and had just ordered my Jamba Juice when Jared called and said he was done. Wow. Gotta love a man who's efficient.

So now we call for the "count results" tomorrow and then will get the full analysis results back in 1 week. I have to make an appointment for a fluid ultra sound and blood work.(Probably some time after Thanksgiving) Jared in the mean time is going to start going to our Witch Doctor again. Gotta love Dr. Keh! She is an acupuncturist who specializes in NAET therapy. I could try and explain what NAET is but I always end up sounding crazy. Yes, you really can be allergic to wind! Look into it if you have any not already and I promise you will not be disappointed. She is truely a miracle worker!

There's the update. I am feeling a mix of emotions ranging from excited to scared to death. And yet, through out it all- I feel a peace that wasn't there before. The thought crossed my mind this morning as I was in the shower- Now that Ginger is watching me from the other side, I've got the best of the best pulling strings for me up there! Even as I'm sitting here typing, I can feel her cheering me on. Literally. Put in a good word for me G!

This is the man of the hour. Vicken Sahakian and Lennix October 2008