Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The peas in my pod

Some of my blogging friends have said I don't add enough pictures, so here you go. The one of Kody was from the day he and I went to Knotts Berry Farm together and he just HAD to have his face painted. Kody is getting so big and is such a joy in my life. He is the reason Lennix is here. (and if you know me, you know why...) He is currently taking golf lessons and loves every second of it! He is doing so well in school (thank goodness!) and I am so proud of his progress he makes in reading and math. Our fridge is going to run out of room because of all the A+ tests he keeps bringing home! He is such a good brother to Lennix and is always willing to help watch her. He's even mastered changing her diaper! Lucky me...
Then there is Lennix. What do I say about this little girl that would do her justice. Such an angel! There are moments that I touch her skin and hold her and I'm in awe of what a miracle she is. No joke. To think that the very first ultrasound I saw of her- she was only 8 cells. Thats right- cells! She is crawling EVERYWHERE and loves to get into anything she's not supposed to. Makes my days very interesting to say the least. She is walking around the furniture like it's going out of style and recently (yesterday) started letting go and standing on her own. I am grateful for these little milestones but sad at the same time. I really don't know if we will have another baby so these small moments I get to share with her are bittersweet. It's all going so fast!
I am so thankful to be a mother to these two beautiful children. I am blessed to have a husband that works so hard for us and I'm able to stay home with them all day. I wouldn't change it for anything! Even on the hard days....

Monday, October 22, 2007

windy world


Todays A-Ha moment:
Air quality was horrible. (Red Flag warning to be exact.) Wind gusts were frightening. Temp was already in the high 70's at 7:30 am. Not what you would call "good running conditions." I decided to go any ways. I started out with no real course in mind. I knew how far I had to go and thought I would just make it up as I went.
Turned the corner onto Seqouia St and the wind was pushing so hard against me I immediatley thought about turning around. I kept going. The debris that was being swirled around was getting into my eyes making in impossible to see. Made it 1 mile. Things were getting easier the further I went. I was able to adapt to my surroundings easier than I thought I would be. Turned up another street. Wind gusts so hard I was having a hard time running straight. Made it 2 miles. Stopped at mile 3 to get a drink from a sprinkler that was shooting straight up in the air thanks to the wind. Just as I bent over to drink- the wind stops. Sprinkler goes directly up my nose and eyes. Nice. Turn the final corner after mile 4 and the wind had stopped. Life was good again.
I knew the air was bad. I knew the wind was blowing strong today. I knew it was hot outside. I thought about how many times in my life I do things knowing how bad the conditions are going to be, but decided to do them any ways. I thought about how many times I don't really have an exact "course" but try and make it up as I go- only to be stuck at "dead- ends" and have to turn around and find another way.
Most importantly I realized that after that first mile, I was getting used to the wind pushing against me. All those things I carry around with me and just accept as my "daily baggage." My insecurities, my flaws, my bad judgement, etc...I had figured out a way to get used to feeling bad about myself as a mother, a sister, a friend, a daughter, a wife, and so on and managed to just go about my day being weighed down like this was normal.
And then the wind stopped. I didn't realize how much that wind was slowing me down until the wind had subsided. The wind stopped and I was able to run faster and feel lighter on my feet. I was able to recognize a difference. I went home with a new gratitude for my Savior who has made it possible for me to not have to carry around my "baggage" that slows me down. I am able to let all of that go and feel lighter than before. Today, I am thankful.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Brace Face

Here's how the diddy went down:
Little girl- Why do you have braces?
Me- So that I can have nice straight teeth like you
Little girl- My brother has braces
Me- Oh, thats nice.
Little girl- He got them put on when he was in third grade
Me- Wow. That is really cool
Little girl- He's 17 now!

Are you kidding me? Someone has got to talk to Dr. Z or I'm in trouble!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Meet my friend Elizabeth and her dog Tinkerbell

I saw a lady walking by Kody's school today with one of these strapped to her. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. (shocking) Who thinks of these sort of things? Why do we need to carry our dogs around in a contraption like this? What happened to just a leash and collar? Some guy is banking millions of dollars (maybe not "millions" but a lot) because of this...Come to think of it, Sharalyn- maybe you aren't too crazy to think people would buy a CD of Suey.

No need for speed....

While plotting my course this morning for my run, I decided to switch it up a little bit and run down streets that I normally don't go down. This in itself was a very bad idea. Every street I chose was filled with cars trying to get to work or schools making my "run" not very enjoyable. Lots of kids/cars/crossing gaurds that I had to dodge. Here's what was so disturbing to me though- As I would wait for the cars/kids/CG's to pass by me- I noticed how many people were eating breakfast in the car! What is happening to our daily schedules that we don't even have time for our children or ourselves to sit and eat a good meal? I saw kids, (young and old) mothers and fathers trying to scarf down as much food as they could while in the car before heading out to start their day. It seems like everyone is in a rush to get somewhere. We have become so good at multi tasking! One of the things I love about running (especially at my pace- as slow as it may be) is that I get to see life in slow motion. I have seen beautiful flowers and animals that I would normally pass by without any thought. It's like I am looking at this Earth with a new set of eyes. It made me think of how many times I rush around like a crazy woman trying to get everything done. And done well. And on time. But what's the harm in being 2 minutes late if it means having more quality time with my family? Is that 2 minutes really worth the stress it is so obviously causing me and my family? I want to be a great mother but I don't think that means I have to have chaos in my house to achieve it. Even if that means I will be 2 minutes later than I had planned (which I hate!) I am going to try my hardest to sssslllllooooowwww things down. Take a deep breath and relax a little more.
With that being said- after my run I got to go work in Kody's class as the Room Mom. I'm not one to normally volunteer for that sort of thing- but Kody made it very clear that he wants me there- so Thursday Room Mom it is. Two things happened today that were very disturbing to me. Thing Number One- Everyone (including the teacher) calls me Mrs. Black. Catches me off gaurd and makes me laugh every time! I have tried to tell them that I have a new (4 year old) last name but that opens a whole new can of worms that I don't really feel like sharing with other people's 7 year olds. Even Kody, who I KNOW knows my last name calls me Mrs. Black because he thinks it's funny. After a morning in that class, I find myself forgetting what my last name really is!
I walk in to the classroom this morning and the teacher calls for everyone (including Mrs. Black) to come to the carpet. (I normally don't sit on the carpet but last week the kids we acting up and I decided to sit on the rug and break up some of the talking/fighting. Now she wants me to do it everytime!) So we sit on the carpet, listen to the teacher explain the morning work and then it's desk work for the kids while Mrs. Black walks around helping the kids that weren't listening while we were having carpet time. Disturbing Thing Number Two: This little girl raises her hand and I go over to her eager to help. She points at the paper and asks me questions- but one glance at her hand and I have been completely thrown off my game! The little girl (7 years old!!) had on acrylic finger nails. For heavens sake- she is in first grade!! I honestly didn't hear one word she said to me. I was horrified and hysterically laughing all at the same time. What is going on in this world? Who takes their 7 year old to get her nails done? I'm all about the mani/pedi Mommy Daugher dates but don't you think that was a little too far? I flashed forward to Lennix at 7 years old and vowed right then and there that was NEVER going to happen in my house. I held up her hand to show the teacher and she just smiled. So, now I have vowed to not only take things slower- I am going to try my hardest to keep my children- children. I don't want them growing up faster than they already are! Life is going so fast I can barely hang on. It seems like yesterday that we were doing our 5th round of IVF to get pregnant. And yet- just yesterday we had people ask us when we are going to do it again. (for the record- we DO NOT know IF/WHEN we are doing it again. I love everyone for their concern for our life, but it's not as easy as most people have it. We don't just say "lets try and have a baby" and then get pregnant. It's a loooong process that I'm not sure we will ever do again.) This blog is kind of random and all over the place- but such is life. After today though- it's going to be random, all over the place and slow.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Didn't you get the invitation?

pity party- A way of experiencing grief, in which you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is. Pity parties can be just for one or for many people, such as maybe your friends and close people, who will try to comfort you or just be there for you while you keep asking yourself what did you do to deserve whatever it is that made you so sad in the first place.
Pity Parties require the proper outfit, which is usually pajamas cause you dont get all dressed up during those feeling-sorry-for-myself moments. Also you should have no make up on or just the one from the night before; hair undone as well.
It also involves tissues, comfort food such as ice cream; chocolate; potato chips; cookies; cake; and candy. Low fat food is banned Alcohol might or might not be allowed (if alcohol makes you go wild, no alcohol should be brought to the pity party in that case since the point is not exactly to have fun).
The purpose of a Pity Party is to dumpt the pityMusic is also very important at pity parties, including songs like "One is the Loneliest Number", "All by Myself" and any other song that makes you feel like throwing yourself from the nearest cliff.
Pity parties usually end after you are done whining or if someone breaks it up. This will usually be a cynical loved one who will not let you drown in self pity and will take you either to have the best time ever, drinking and partying or will just make you crawl out of bed by making you see how pathetic you look and how you should cut the whining and just do something to make things better!

-damn straight! (sorry for the "damn" mom...)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Hours 10:30 pm till 7:30 am.

My night was filled with those "moments" again. Crazy stuff always seems to happen to me and my family. Lastnight, I was so tired (like Uncle Kent taking an Ambien tired) so I went to bed around 9. I was woken up at around 10:30 pm by Jared who was yelling at me to look out the window. I ran to the window and saw nothing. I realized I didn't have my glasses on. I couldn't see something if my life depended on it! I got my glasses of the nightstand and returned to the window. Some teenage boy (I sound really old huh?) had smashed his SUV into the telephone pole right outside our window! Major major major damage. We call 911...cops come. Shine their big light on the pole and car. (We are standing at the window looking like puppies waiting to be purchased and taken home) We hear the cop say- "It's snapped right there. (flashing big light towards the top of the pole) Get everything out of here!" All the cops get back in their car and move to who knows where. Teenage Boy is now down the street crying on the phone with his mom repeatedly telling her it was an "accident." Nice mom. Probably changing the radio station or something and hit the pole. I hear those sort of things happen. ( Janelle :P) The BIG firetrucks come. The ones with ladders. Lots of light coming through our windows. I am still out of it. (I was thinking it was around 4 in the morning) Jared goes outside to "investigate". Lots of damage. Lots of people coming to fix the damage. Lots and lots of lights. Flood lights. We try to go back to bed. I am woken up again (2 am) by Kody telling me he threw up all over the ground. (nice.) I get up to check out the damage. Lots of damage. He asks me if I'll help him clean it up. I tell him thats my job as a Mommy . I tell him to get a bowl (he picked the biggest one we had!) and get on the chair/couch in our room and try to go back to bed. He wakes Jared up and asks for a blessing. Love that kid. I start cleaning the puke. Good times. Every half and hour the kid sounds like his stomach might be trying to escape his body. I feel so bad for him. He tells me (around 4 am) that the blessing isn't working. (my heart breaks!) I get up at 7 to pick up the house and get ready to go for my run. It's raining and cold and I really dont want to go. I get ready any ways. I try to put the box of Granola up on the top shelf in my cupboard. Brand new syrup bottle comes flying down at me cracking open and covering me in a sticky mess! Jared is home from seminary and is helping with the kiddos and the syrup. Love him for that. I go outside and decide to talk to the workers and see what they are doing. (they had to replace the entire pole! which by the way apparently takes SEVERAL hours!!) I'm standing with my hands on the wall to get a better look of the damage. Workers will be there all day. I decide I better start running or I could get rained on. I walk to the street and turn the Ipod to play. Ready to go. My hands are still sticky. I dont want sticky hands the whole time I am running. I lick them clean. Really clean. I realized it's not syrup. It's tree sap from the wall. Lovely morning.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Where the deer and the antelope play

I haven't blogged in a while and my fingers feel like typ'n so sit down and relax...I've got a lot to say.

Ever since I started blogging (which has been a max of like 3 weeks now) I keep having these moments in my life where I laugh or cry or something in between and I think to myself- I should blog about this. This blog is going to be all those "should have blogged about moments" that I never got around to doing. Lets start with this one: Sue and I went to JoAnns Fabric lastnight to do some Halloween decoration shopping and on the way home we got to talking about feeling blessed. We were talking about how grateful we both were to have health/family/friends and so on. The conversation started to take a turn downward as we pulled up in front of her house. I start saying the same old stuff we both already know and probably don't need or want to hear again. "Everything happens for a reason, try to look at the bright side of things, etc..." She gives me this smile and says "Things are going to be fine. I've got my peeps. What more do I need?" I smile at her with such admiration because 1- she always knows how to put things into perspective and 2- she just said peeps like she is some gangsta! I drive away while thiking to myself- Mom is always right. You've got your peeps- what more do you need? Nothing right? Family is everything! I've always been aware of how lucky I am to have a family/peeps that are close not just in miles but in hearts as well. No joke when I say- I would do anything for my family. (that goes for ALL of my family. Even the ones that live far away...) It's moments like these when I sit there and think about Blogging and how I am going to make a list of my peeps and give reasons why I love them. Makes for a good Blog right? As I stop at the stop light- it hits me! She wasn't refering to her family as peeps as I had thought just minutes before. She had bought actual Peeps at JoAnns and was grateful for those! Gotta love those good marshmallow-y moments in life.

On to "Should have blogged about that" moment in my life #2. So, I went to lunch with my 2 sister in laws today. That in itself could be a whole other blog! Everything was fine, we ate, we talked, we paid, walked outside to leave. As we were standing by my car it was really hot so I grabbed the diaper bag and searched for some water. (Jared packed the bag) I grab the bottle, open it, and start chugging away. I'm about half way through the bottle and glance at the water. It's BLACK! I swallow what little was left in my mouth trying not to make a scene. I am frantic thinking in my mind as to why the water is black. I think hard.... remembering that Kody had been painting on Sunday and I had given him a bottle of water to wash the brushes off with! I look at my sister in law and ask "why did you just let me drink that?" And she says "I thought it looked weird- but I thought it was some type of diet drink that you were drinking." Thanks for letting me chug the paint chips down April"

Moment #3. This isn't so much a "moment". More of just a feeling of excitment/fear/nervousness that I wasn't really expecting to feel. The Chicago Marathon is just 5 days (2 more runs) away! I can still remeber back in June when we would tell people that we had signed up to run it. We would always follow up with "It's still like 4 months away! We've got plenty of time to train!" Now, as I sit here with a pit in my stomach I wish it were June again. I have loved every second of this journey "runners" call "training". I have loved stregthening my friendship with Janelle and my marriage to Jared. It truly has been a catalyst of so many things in my life. Sharalyn has been amazingly supportive in her own sort of way and I love her even more for that. I know that this is and always be "her sport" and I thank her for sharing it with me and encouraging me to run stronger and faster. I can honestly say it has been life changing for me. I am looking forward to seeing her in Chicago almost more than I am looking forward to running the race. I could not have done this without Jared. Hands down- he gets Husband of the Year Award. He knows exactly what to say (or not to say depending on the situation) and what to do for me. He allows me to get angry/mean/and sadly sometimes down right nasty and loves me anyways. Word cannot describe the feelings I have for that man!

This blog could go on and on but my fingers (and kiddos) are getting tired abd hungry. Well, my fingers aren't hungry but my kiddos are. They are tired too. My fingers are just tired, my kiddos are tired and hungry. You get the point! There are so many things in life that I could and want to share with you guys but not enough hours in the day for me to Blog. Not a day goes by that I do not think about my friends and family. You're my Peeps and I thank you for being part of my life...

p.s. Sharalyn- what did you do to piss God off so badly?