Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Were is your cell phone? here.
Were is your significant other? basketball.
You're hair color? dark.
You're favorite thing? chocolate.
You're dream last night? short.
You're life dream/goal? happiness.
The room your in? living.
You're hobby? running.
You're fear? death.
Where do you want to be in 6 years? crowded.
Where were you last night? massage.
What your not? alone.
One of you're wish list items? babies.
Where you grew up? fantastic.
The last thing you did? laundry.
What you are wearing: sweats.
You're TV? fixed. (thanks Tony)
You're pet? hungry.
You're computer? struggling.
You're mood? everything.
Missing someone? yep.
Something your NOT wearing? shoes.
Favorite store? Chicks.
Your summer? fun.
Love someone? totally.
You're fave color? grey.
When is the last time you laughed? siesta.
When is the last time you cried? Kody.
Your significant other's hair: awesome.
You're life in one word: significant.
Now it's you're turn!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The newest addition to our home: a baby toilet seat and a step stool.
Lennix has decided to start potty training herself. And surprisingly- she does a pretty good job at it. I don't know if it's selective amnesia but I can't remember having to potty train Kody. So when Lennix started taking her diaper off and pointing to the potty- I was a little confused. A lot of days are spent at home, with the timer going off every 20 minutes and us sitting in the bathroom reading a magazine. Now if only she could learn to only take a few squares of toilet paper- we'd be in business! (Notice the huge pile next to the toilet!)
Baby update: Jared is still going to acupuncture regularly and Dr.Keh thinks she will be able to get me pregnant without IVF. We'll see. Our bathroom cabinet is already filled with so many unused pregnancy tests and ovulation predictors- we might as well use them while we can. Sharalyn and I signed up for another marathon in March so it looks like I will be starting my medications right after that. If all goes as planned (and Dr.Keh doesnt knock me up before then) I should be looking at having the embryo's put in at the end of April or early May.
Kody is still at Grace (obviously) and having such a good year. His new teacher took some getting used to but we are definitely on a roll now. He had his annual Christmas Program where we all came to watch him. At one point, Kaia (David's daughter) was on my mom's lap, David was holding Lennix, and Kardiff (David's son) was playing with Jared!! We are either the most dysfunctional family known to man, or we've got this whole divorce thing down to a T. It makes me smile to see all of us sitting there supporting Kody together as a FAMILY. At one point, Lauren asked Kaia if she knew who Lennix was. "She's just Wennix" she answered. Lauren explains that Wennix is Kodys little sister too to which Kaia says "Wow- that's so cool." Couldn't have said it any better myself Kaia! This Christmas he'll be with his dad, and to be honest- it never gets any easier. Tonight, I held his growing body in my arms with limbs over flowing everywhere and I just wanted to keep him there forever. I dont want to share him anymore. I want to keep him with me at all times and never let anyone else experience something I might miss. Here's the first of 2 Christmas presents Kody made for me at school this year. You never have to wonder what Kody will look like when he's 30 because apparently that was the look his teacher was going for. Seriously???
Speaking of Wennix...this is girl is TROUBLE! Yesterday it was so cold and windy, I was feeling really guilty as I looked out the window and saw the turtle and rabbit having to suffer out there on the balcony. For some reason, I have this strange fear that my animals can speak to each other and are talking trash about me. I know this sounds crazy but it's true. A lot of wasted time is spent worrying about if they are happy or if they think I am a good owner etc... So, after I drop Kody off at school- I decide to go outside and brave the elements so that I can move the turtle into the rabbits cage and turn the heat lamp on. (This is all being done without a bra on OR shoes on. And with my hair a mess and left overs from breakfast on the table.) I pick up the turtle, move him inside, feed them both and head back inside. Nothing. The door wont budge. I try again. And again. And again. Nothing. Lennix comes to the window and pulls on the lock forcing it to lock further and further. I beg her to push the lock up to which she just smiles and says "Upeeeee. Upeeeee." Panic is starting to set in. Like- real heart beating fast panic. I look around and realize I have no where to go but over. We are on the second story and this is no joke. Here are my options:
Tough choice right? Option 1 is a straight shot down. It might not look so bad in this picture, but the foliage is deceiving. Its not very thick and I would most likely break a leg. Or two. Or three. Option 2 I would have to jump out over my downstairs neighbors patio and hope I land either on a bush or a car hood. That's a big hope. So I decide to go with Option 1. I climb onto the ledge (with no shoes) and perch myself like a little bird. More like a big bird I suppose. I scream and scream for help but no one is home. I start to say a little prayer that went something like this:
Have I told you how sorry I am lately? Well, if not, I am. Really sorry that is. For everything. I need your help in a kind of big way. I know I am going to have to jump, so all I ask is that you break my fall enough that the bones I end up breaking aren't bad enough that I can't get upstairs to my baby. Because that would be really bad. Have I said I was sorry lately? Because I have been meaning to. Once I get inside- I will. Well, I guess Im going to jump. One last chance to send me a miracle....
Just then, the lady that lives below me (and whom I have never actually met) comes outside onto her balcony. She must have thought I was a crazy person up there perched in my bare feet and no bra. I shout to her and she makes some gesture that she'll come up. THANK YOU! 30 seconds later, the lady is in my house unlocking the door for me. Im not really sure what the polite thing to do is, so I grab Lennix and just say thank you over and over. She left without saying a word to me. Granted I dont think she speaks a lick of English but still- doesnt every one know "you're welcome?"
So there you have it. That pretty much sums up Lennix in a nutshell. If she weren't so darn cute- she would have been gone a long time ago. I haven't been brave enough to go outside to feed the animals since then. Not without a phone at least!
One last thing I have been obsessed with lately. Better than any bouquet of flowers Jared could ever bring me:At first glance you might think they are parts of beehives. But you would be wrong. Its actually a wasp hive and I am totally fascinated by them. I found one a while ago while we were on a walk and cant stop admiring the beauty of it. Or them I guess. Jared has found 2 more to add to my collection and I couldnt be happier! I love them.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I hang up the phone and go back to enjoying whats left of siesta. Five minutes later, phone rings again. It's the school nurse this time. They have tried to flush his eye out 3 times, he's still in pain, we need to come get him. We get to the school and the poor kids face is puffy and bright red on one side. Who beat my kid up?!? We get home, and I tell him he has to take a nap. 2 minutes later- the kids sound asleep on my bed. 3:30 pm he wakes up with an even worse looking face. We attempt to do homework, dinner, etc... and then the real whining starts. It hurts reeeeaaallly bad and wont stop watering. I ask Jared what I should do. Not that I will really take his opinion into consideration, but I wanted him to confirm the feelings I have that I should take him in to Urgent Care. He says he'll be fine and not to worry. Instead- I worry. Something isn't right and I can't shake the feeling that he needs to be seen. I call my mom to get her opinion- no answer. Then Jason and Stephanie come over and I ask their opinion. Jason and Jared obviously share more than just the same DNA because he gave me the same answer as Jared. Without hesitation Steph tells me she'd take him in. That's all I needed. Confirmation. Another woman. Another mom. Decisions made- we get in the car and head to Kaiser.
We're seen right away by the doctor and she decides to check his eye for any scratches. I had told Kody nothing was going to hurt him so when the doctor pulls out the eye drops and says "This may hurt just a little" I think I lost some validity.
After dying his eye yellow and looking at it under this special light, she confirms he has some abrasions. Not only that, but he still had sand in his eye too and all that rubbing he was doing was causing more abrasions. He had to have his eye "flushed" again. I told her they tried at school and she asked Kody how they flushed it. He says "I cupped my hand under water at the drinking fountain and blinked a few times." Note to any parent reading this **that does not count as "flushing"** She proceeds to show us to the "Special Procedure" room.
They call in another nurse who sets up everything she'll need. She turns around when we walk in and she asks how old Kody is. I tell her 8 and she begins to tell me (in front of Kody) that most adults don't tolerate this well, and she doesn't think he will be able to sit through the procedure. When I asked her if there was another option, she said no. Bring on the flushing then. They give Kody some drops to "sedate" his eye while they get the device in his eye. The medication will only last a few minutes so they have to act quick. I still have no idea what the "device" is. Probably for the best. After they get his head comfortably wrapped in towels, they pull it out...
It's called a Morgan Lens. It's basically a giant rubber contact lens with a tube sticking out of it which is attached to an IV bag which will flow through the eye. They open his eye really wide and get it in. Not much struggle and he's being such a trooper. Only problem is that once the IV starts- the "numbing" medication is washed away within a few minutes. At which point- Kody will start to feel everything.
Within the first few drops- he begged, pleaded and cried for me to take this thing out. The nurse started the IV and told me she'd be back in a few minutes. I ask her how much fluid we have to get in his eye and she tells me the whole IV bag. 1000 mls. WOW-that's a lot. Especially when you're in pain and you're 8. I sing, I dance, I take pictures, I do anything I can to distract him from what he's going through. Pure torture. I finally tell him that for every second I count to- I'll give him a dollar. We've got a deal. 1...2.......3.........4............................5.......................................6..... this is going to get expensive! I tried a few times to tell him a story and delay the counting but he would cry and remind me of the number I left off at. Around 900 mls- I am so excited-we were almost done!! $157 later- the nurse comes back in to take out the device and patch him up. Literally. Doctor comes in and tell me he'll be as good as gold tomorrow. I hope so.
The flushing must have worked because the kiddo woke up the next morning and was totally fine. No red face, no puffiness. Nothing. Just $157 richer!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
K- Mom, the owner of that store is like Chinese or something!!!
M- Did you say hello to him?
K- No way!
M- Why not?
K- He probably doesn't even speak English.
M- How do you know since you didn't talk to him?
K- If I tried talking to him, he wouldn't know what I was saying and he would think I was going to beat him up or something.
M- Why do you think that?
K- Chinese people just stare at me so they must think I am going to beat them up and they are afraid of me.
M- So what did you do?
K- Just stared at him the whole time. When I walked out- he just smiled at me like a Chinese person.
Apparently Kody has the ability to scare an entire Ethnic group. He's super tough. We're going to work on this and try to channel his energy elsewhere.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The trampoline. It has only caused 1 split lip, 1 almost broken foot which hurt so bad we had to go to the Emergency room for x-rays, 1 almost broken knee, and too many fights to be counted...
Steve on constant "Di-a-b'-t-is" watch with Sue on alarm for PROTEIN at any given moment...
Sharalyn making me help her with the turkey (it was my first time) and telling me the neck was actually the pee pee. Who knew right?
Buying tickets for the whole family to go see the ICE show knowing it would only be 9 degrees inside and deciding to wear flip flops any ways. (And dressing Fletch in shorts and a T shirt!)
*Side note- I used to think being frozen to death would be the way to go. I hear you get so cold, you actually then get warm and fall asleep and then it's over. 16 minutes in the ICE show has changed my minds about this...
Sharalyn waking me up at 7 in the morning telling me we need to go to The Walmart. The only form of me "getting ready" that day consisted of me putting a bra on.
Sharalyn and I deciding to go on a long run together and her coming downstairs telling me it was 33 degrees outside that morning. I can handle it I thought. WRONG. I've never been so cold in my life- or so I thought...Later that day, we went to the ICE show and proved that I could be colder
And last, we have Lennix and Fletcher who have found LOVE this trip around. We found them in the bath soaping each other up while hugging and kissing and Fletcher telling "Whinny" to touch it because it tickles. At least it's not longer Pinchy Pinchies and Bite-y Bites.
Just thought I would capture a sweet moment with my dad. I knew we were more alike than he realized! Cant be good for his bad case of the SUGARS right?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Here's Kody and Hunter. Kody has worshiped Hunt from the second they moved into our ward. He always makes sure that I know that Hunter is his BEST FRIEND.
Probably my favorite picture to date! Doesn't even need a caption. Pure Love. Pure. Love.
This picture was taken by Kody when Lennix was obviously in one of her better moods. I have no idea why she was screaming like this, and I probably didn't do anything to calm her down either. Life with two kids makes me giggle sometimes. Isn't she a gem?? But, for whatever the reason- I love this picture. I really do.
The 13th- I saw her smiling. I heard her laughing. I felt the warmth of her hugs and she was so close. She enjoyed the night right along with the rest of us. No doubt in my mind.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Sorry for the graphic picture but it was the only one I could find and I was in a hurry!!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Barney's friend Baby Bop had this flower that she loved so much. She watered it, and took care of it and then one day, she came to the garden and the flower had died. Which obviously made Baby Bop really sad. Barney decided to cheer her up by singing her a song. (duh) I swear- I think he was singing directly to me! Here are the words:
When we lose something we love
It can be hard to let it go.
But learning how to say goodbye
Is another way we grow.
No matter what happens
There's always tomorrow
To bring in the sunshine
And wash out the sorrow.
With friends you can count on
And people you love
You'll feel better
When tomorrow comes.
You may feel sad down inside
It's okay to let it show
These feelings that you are feeling
Will surely come and go.
I wish tomorrow would hurry up and come soon! At the end of the song, Baby Bop said again how sad she was and her "friends" asked Barney what they could do for her. Barney's reply? "Sometimes, all we can do is be a friend." Barney's got it right!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
We made the hour long drive to Westwood and tried not to acknowledge the obvious feelings that were swirling in both our minds. Things seemed to be going perfectly. We found parking right away, Lennix was is a great mood, we pushed the UP button in the elevator and then...we were home.
From the second we walked off the elevator, the receptionist had come around to greet us both with hugs and make us comfortable. From the financial coordinator to the Embryologist- they all came out of their offices to say hello. Lennix was her usual shy self but cute none the less. Then came the doctor. He walks out to see us and casually asks what we were doing here. (Most of his patients just stop by to say hello) I told him we were thinking about doing IVF again and his face says it all. Complete shock. He whisks us into his office and pulls up our information. "Well, if you're ever going to do it- nows the time." Great I thought. Nows the time. Because it had been so long since I had been tested for any abnormalities, he said that I had to be re-tested to make sure there weren't any new things we needed to address before we started a Cycle. (Each time we do IVF- they call it a cycle. Each "cycle" comes with it's own folder Labeled "Cycle" # _ , and a "cycle" calender. We've got a nice collection so far...we're up to 5 folders!)
Lennix starts to get fussy and is ready to get out of there. Jared and I were doing a good job wrangling her until the doctor kindly asks us to "let her go." He said, I want her to run around the office as she pleases. I explained that I was just trying to be considerate of the other women sitting in the waiting room who didn't have children. Yet. He said, "let her go- this is what the women want to see. They want to see that there is hope. That this is the end result they can have too." How true those words rang in my ears. With that, I let her go run free. When we were done talking to the doctor, we walked out and I looked around the waiting room. The same desperate, anxious, hormone raged look on all their faces- was one I recognized. I scooped Lennix in my arms and was reminded once again- there is hope. Another one of these squiggly squishy babies can be our end result again. Nows the time to do it.
Lennix and I said our goodbyes to the staff, and gave Jared a quick kiss as he headed into "the room" with his cup in hand. I made it down the elevator, 1 block down Gaylee St. and had just ordered my Jamba Juice when Jared called and said he was done. Wow. Gotta love a man who's efficient.
So now we call for the "count results" tomorrow and then will get the full analysis results back in 1 week. I have to make an appointment for a fluid ultra sound and blood work.(Probably some time after Thanksgiving) Jared in the mean time is going to start going to our Witch Doctor again. Gotta love Dr. Keh! She is an acupuncturist who specializes in NAET therapy. I could try and explain what NAET is but I always end up sounding crazy. Yes, you really can be allergic to wind! Look into it if you have any not already and I promise you will not be disappointed. She is truely a miracle worker!
There's the update. I am feeling a mix of emotions ranging from excited to scared to death. And yet, through out it all- I feel a peace that wasn't there before. The thought crossed my mind this morning as I was in the shower- Now that Ginger is watching me from the other side, I've got the best of the best pulling strings for me up there! Even as I'm sitting here typing, I can feel her cheering me on. Literally. Put in a good word for me G!
This is the man of the hour. Vicken Sahakian and Lennix October 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
So fast forward to 2008. With each passing month, and our "baby" turning into a toddler very quickly, the nagging feelings of "this is when normal couples usually start to have another baby..." have been creeping into our daily conversations. If we could just "get pregnant" this would be a no brainer. Done deal. But with us, it has to be a long, thought out, financially prepared decision made between both of us. (And a small army of doctors, nurses, embryologists, etc...)
Then I got this email from Jared-
I do LOVE the HELL out of you. I just wanted to tell you that I want to be with you forever. We have a great little family and in the near future I can feel our family will get a little bigger and I will love to go through HELL with you again to have a chance on another KODY or DINKAS. LOVE,
It was this email, and the love and encouragement from best friends and family that helped solidify our decision to TRY AGAIN TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!! We are going to roll the dice and see what happens ONE MORE TIME. This time around things will be a little different though. We will NOT do back to back (to back to back to back) rounds of IVF. If it doesn't work, we will give my body, (and our marriage) some time to recover. This is a VERY stressful thing to go through and although doing it this way might take us a little longer, I feel like we will be able to maintain some of our sanity. My friends have promised to stand by me and not judge me when things get "crazy." My sister has promised to not make fun of me when I start to pack on the fertility fifteen! (Those IVF doctors love a round woman)
So there you have it. Our decision has been made. In the past, we have tried to keep this private only to be left feeling alone. That's why I am putting it out there for all to expereince with us. We are going to try our best to document the whole thing. The road we face ahead is going to be long and filled with emotion. Since this blog is mainly for journaling purposes, I thought it would be interesting for all to read. The good, the bad, and the infertile.
Our first appointment is for this Wednesday November 12th, 2008. Jared will have another analysis done and we will talk to the doctor and come up with a game plan. We are excited and ready to do this again. Please keep us in your prayers and remember not to judge when I "fly off the handle." It's not me. It's the drugs. :)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Jareds team consisted of himself, Jason Wright, Jesse Miles, Josh Miles, and Steve Luke. My team consisted of myself, Sharalyn Edmunds, Janelle Luke, Juli Hull, and Suzy Anderson. Months and months of training (for some) and we were only a few weeks away.
Then we get the phone calls. Juli will be out of town and Suzy's knee was injured. Sucks for the girls team. Jared then got a phone call from Jason. His back was out too. After a last minute scramble- the new teams were put together. Boys: Jared, Jesse, Jason, Steve and now Adam Zoller. Girls: Shannon, Sharalyn, Janelle, Casey Hambly and Kristen Marsilio. More training. More trash talk between both teams and we were ready to race.
Then on Friday (a week before the race) we get the phone call from Scott. We needed to start looking for a replacement runner because Kristen (who is Casey's co-worker) has been in a really bad car accident. She suffered a seizure behind the wheel, and her car went up over a fence, crossed 2 lanes of traffic, into a gas station, and into a gas PUMP and her car exploded on fire! WITH HER INSIDE! I kid you not, within 5 minutes of that phone call from Scott, I had called Sharalyn to tell her the news and Casey calls on my other phone. Apparently Kristen had made sure (from her hospital bed no less!) that Casey and the rest of the team were reassured that she WAS IN for the race! No replacement necessary. Talk about a tough chick! If you don't believe the story- click on the link below. There is actual video surveillance from the gas station and you can see the whole thing unfold. Amazing to say the least.
So now it's Saturday morning and each team piles into their respective cars for the 2 hour trip down there. I'm not too sure what was talked about in the boys car, but the girls trip was filled with lots of laughs, amazing survival stories (thanks to Kristen), trying to find the least "butch" way to wear a bandanna, and lots of talk about the upcoming race. So much fun!
We get to Camp Pendelton and start to get dressed by our car. Beaters: check. Bandannas: check. Bike shorts: check. Baseball Socks: check. Tutu's: Double check! That's right. The Dirty Housewives were going to wear tutu's the entire 6.25 miles. Fashion first- Winning Second. We got some strange looks from other teams, some "you go girls", and A LOT of "WE LOVE YOU'S!" Who knew people loved a tutu so much?
This is us at the start of the race. Could my team be any cuter?
Sharalyn and I showing some sisterly love. This is the first picture that Sharalyn and I have looked at and recognized what people have been saying for years. I guess we do kind of look a like. Sort of. Maybe a little.
This is our team right after crossing the Finish line with a time of 1 hour 19 minutes. Not bad considering our goal was to get under 2 hours!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I heart: Lil' Rounders from Carvel Ice cream.
I heart: Bobby Fisher.
I heart: Kody dedicating the song Bleeding Love to me.
I heart: real friends that withstand the test of time. And then some.
I heart: reading a good book.
I heart: my new couches.
I heart: cool weather.
I heart: truth.
I heart: siesta with Jared.
I heart: carpool at Kodys school.
I heart: high fives from Lennix. MmmmK.
I heart: my iPod shuffle.
I heart: my Steve Madden Boots.
I heart: family.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Next up: Ayla Alden! I got to watch this little snuggle bug one day while Scott and Casey were at work and it only took about 3 seconds before Jared scooped her up and announced- "I want another baby." We had just had "the talk" the night before and had decided we were not going to have another baby. So much for that talk. All plans went out the window as soon as Ayla landed in our arms! We love you little Missy!
Then we got the mail. FedEx delivered boxes from AUNNIE!!! Yeah!!!! How fun it was to open these boxes with my kids and see the look of pure joy on their faces as they saw what she had sent them. Cups, plates, bubbles, Webkinz, candy, stickers, etc... She had it all in there! Why did she send all this stuff you might wonder? Because that's what Aunnie does. She is so great at spoiling my kids and making them feel special. I am grateful for a sister who is thoughtful enough to include my children in fun things like this! We love you Aunnie!!
Can you guess what thing Lennix liked the best? STICKERS! Apparently the stickers Aunnie bought were on the $1 aisle, so she grabbed a bunch and packed them in. Here's the best part- they were scented! Vanilla if I remember correctly. But come on- they were on the dollar aisle. I couldnt smell vanilla if my life depended on it. It was more like a spicy pine scent. Very weird. But Lennix didn't care (obviously) and they were a HUGE hit!! Thanks again Aunnie!
Last we have FOOTBALL! This past Saturday Kody's football team played Agoura and the whole family got to go cheer him on. His team played good and by the end of the fourth quarter we were tied 6-6. Perfect! We all go home winners I thought. I thought wrong. Just as we packed up we heard the announcer come over the loud speaker to announce "sudden death over time!" Are you kidding me?
So here's how it works: you get 4 plays starting on the 10 yard line, and try to score. If one team doesnt get in the end zone, but the other team does, you lose. Needless to say, I was in a full blown panic at this point!
Our team goes first. 1st run of the over time, we score a touchdown! YES YES YES!!! My prayers have been answered. Now it's Agouras turn to answer. First down, incomplete. Second down, tackled and no yards gained. Third down, incomplete. Fourth down (their LAST chance) the quarterback decides to run it in HIMSELF and he's heading straight for my baby! Now, I should mention, Kody LOVES football but he doesnt like to tackle. He will shoulder someone, and push, but when it comes to hanging on and dragging them down- well, he leaves that for the rest of the team. Although he does stand at the side of the pile and trash talk. Great sportsmanship right?!? Any ways- Fourth down, QB running at my baby...and he does it! Kody MAKES THE TACKLE and we WIN the game! He jumped up with his arms in the air yelling "Yea Baby" for a good 5 minutes! I was so proud of him. All those hours of practices we go to watching him and chasing Lennix around Berylwood park, the stinky uniforms I beg for him to let me wash, the hours we drive to and from games- It was all worth it for that play right there! Way to go Patriots!