Thursday, November 6, 2008

It's official

One of my life's few regrets is not taking Justin up on his offer to document our experience with infertility 4 years ago. I remember it so well, him talking about how cool it would be to document the whole thing with video and pictures. I remember making the appointment for February 14th, 2004 and thinking this whole ordeal would finally be over in just a few months. Never did it cross my mind that we wouldn't have a baby until February of 2007. I remember getting the letter in the mail from Kaiser saying that the test results from Jared were so low, we were going to have to seek help elsewhere. (They only help up to IUI and we were no where close to that being helpful.) We never took Justin up on his offer to help document the experience and we were left to conquer this on our own. Many nights were spent feeling alone, and bitter. Many times we wanted to throw our hands in the air and give up. Miracles happened. People came into our lives that we will forever be indebted to, and our little miracle is here.

So fast forward to 2008. With each passing month, and our "baby" turning into a toddler very quickly, the nagging feelings of "this is when normal couples usually start to have another baby..." have been creeping into our daily conversations. If we could just "get pregnant" this would be a no brainer. Done deal. But with us, it has to be a long, thought out, financially prepared decision made between both of us. (And a small army of doctors, nurses, embryologists, etc...)

Then I got this email from Jared-

I do LOVE the HELL out of you. I just wanted to tell you that I want to be with you forever. We have a great little family and in the near future I can feel our family will get a little bigger and I will love to go through HELL with you again to have a chance on another KODY or DINKAS. LOVE,

It was this email, and the love and encouragement from best friends and family that helped solidify our decision to TRY AGAIN TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!! We are going to roll the dice and see what happens ONE MORE TIME. This time around things will be a little different though. We will NOT do back to back (to back to back to back) rounds of IVF. If it doesn't work, we will give my body, (and our marriage) some time to recover. This is a VERY stressful thing to go through and although doing it this way might take us a little longer, I feel like we will be able to maintain some of our sanity. My friends have promised to stand by me and not judge me when things get "crazy." My sister has promised to not make fun of me when I start to pack on the fertility fifteen! (Those IVF doctors love a round woman)

So there you have it. Our decision has been made. In the past, we have tried to keep this private only to be left feeling alone. That's why I am putting it out there for all to expereince with us. We are going to try our best to document the whole thing. The road we face ahead is going to be long and filled with emotion. Since this blog is mainly for journaling purposes, I thought it would be interesting for all to read. The good, the bad, and the infertile.

Our first appointment is for this Wednesday November 12th, 2008. Jared will have another analysis done and we will talk to the doctor and come up with a game plan. We are excited and ready to do this again. Please keep us in your prayers and remember not to judge when I "fly off the handle." It's not me. It's the drugs. :)

Our goal:


Mrs. Richardson said...

WOW!!!! I got tears in my eyes just reading this. You two are amazing parents adn great people. You will be in extra prayers then they already are. I am here if you need anything. You are brave to open yourself up and let us all in our your journey!
thank you

Kaye said...

Congratulations! I am excited for you guys, and will be hoping the best :)

Robert and Natalie said...

Shannon I am so very excited for you. You are strong and I can't wait to see another one of your beautiful children come into this world. It will be worth it..I am here if you need anything at love and prayers are with you... I will help you put on that 15 I still owe you breakfast or lunch or dinner whenever you can Love Nat

Shalayna said...

I am so excited!!!!! I love you and I wish I lived closer to you. Three times would be awesome!!! :)

Juli said...

YES! I am ready :) When you go see Dr. K i want to go to, i need her to perform some miracles on me too. Hell here we come, with bells on!! xoxo

Jeff and Amy Barlow said...

Yea, Yea, Yea! I'm so happy for your decision. You guys did well on "Dinkas" so I have no doubt you'll do well with #2. Our thoughts and prayers will surely be with you and Jared and the kids.

We miss seeing you! Now that we are no longer in Dallas, when will we see you? We'll have to make it down to SV, I guess.

Give Shar my love! She is truly the best.

Take care...and good luck!

redstarmama said...

Since I'm not in Simi for you to hear this, I'm going to type out my scream of excitement: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

This is great news, and I am overjoyed for you and Jared and Kody and Lenni. I will be praying for you and thinking of you on Wednesday. Maybe we'll be pregnant together again!

Steve and Janelle said...

I am so, so, so happy!!! I am hoping the best for you and Jared through what I know will be a tough time.

p.s. If you have 6 boys can we have 1?

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you. I hope that I can help in whatever may be needed. Congrats!

Beardall Family said...

If anyone is a believer in miracles, it's me. You can count on many prayers in your behalf from the Ball & Beardall family.

Donna said... a temporal sense this is delightful news! But, in a spiritual sense, this is a deep commitment of opening yourselves up to the will of Heavenly Father in this matter and a huge step forward in the great leap of faith
department!! How wonderful for you to share this journey. You know we're with you 100% of the way. Hugs and kisses to you all.

Jaimee said...

Shannon, it was great to run into you today at the mall you look great. You forgot to mention you guys are going to try again. That is awesome I wish you and Jared all the best and hope that things go well.

The Roberts said...

I know this was a difficult decision, but I am so extremely happy that you and Jared feel the same way. We will be thinking of you. Anytime you need somebody to watch Lennix, PLEASE don't hesitate to call me for a free sitter whenever you have a doc appt. or any other time. We wish your family all the best.

Cassaundra said...

I haven't read your blog for quite a while and I am so glad to have stumbled upon your good news. good luck!! and a little side note, you are such a great writer.