Thursday, April 17, 2008

Who's your daddy?

Let me set this up:
Kody is in the living room, talking to his Nama Beach (David's mom) on speaker phone recounting his past weeks activities.
Jared is on the computer lost in his own world of Fantasy Basketball.
Here's how it went down:
Kody: Nama, when am I going to get to see you again?
Nama: I'm not sure Kody, we don't have any plans right now but all you have to do is ask your daddy and we can plan something.
Kody: But I really want to see you.
Nama: I know Kody. Just ask your dad next time you talk to him and I'm sure we can set something up
Kody: (now yelling at Jared) Daaaaaadddddd- when can I see Nama?
Jared: Maybe next weekend I guess (half confused and half humored)
Kody: (to Nama) My dad says I can maybe go next weekend.
Nama: No, Kody, why don't you ask your dad next time you talk to him and see when a good time would be for him.
Kody: Nama- he's sitting right here in the room with me. You're on speaker phone and he can hear you. Dad- tell Nama you said I can go.
Jared: We will plan something maybe for next weekend Dana.
Nama: half awkward/ half laughing....Okay thanks, I love you Kody. Bye.

Let me throw this out there first- I am not writing this for all to read to put Kody's dad down in any way. I do not want any one to think that I'm not aware or I don't respect or his position or role in Kody's life.

I love this story for so many reasons! I love it because it shows how blurred the lines of "fatherhood" can become when there is so much love in a child's life. I love how innocent Kody was while he was talking to her and still has no idea why it's so cute to me. I thank my lucky stars every day for the relationship he and Jared have. I remember after I got divorced, I would date some guys and they would quickly try and replace David. Part of me thinks that they were doing this because they thought that is what I wanted or needed. They would be at my house and be throwing Kody up in the air, making silly faces, etc...But none of it was ever genuine. And then Jared walked into my life and every thing changed.

I have seen their love for each other grow in front of my very own eyes and it has been such a blessing in my life! I remember when Jared first held Kody and how awkward he was. I remember when Kody first tried to give Jared a kiss (on the lips) and how uncomfortable that was for Jared and yet, despite that feeling, he didn't refuse such a sweet token of love from Kody.

I remember when we were dating, we would take our lunch breaks together and go and pick Kody up from pre-school and they always raced to the car. Jared always (and still does) turns everything into a race with Kody. It can be anything from picking up toys to finishing their dinner- it's always a race to the finish!

I remember when Jared bought Kody a T-shirt for Christmas and how excited Kody was to wear it. (just a little side note- the shirt is STILL too big for Kody to wear. Jared had no clue about kid's sizes back then)

I remember when Jared asked me to marry him- he promised to take care of me AND Kody and he has lived up to the promise in every sense of the word! There are times that I have felt guilty over the expenses I expect Jared to pay on Kody's behalf and he is always there to reassure me of his role in Kody's life. He is our provider and I am grateful for him always picking up some one else's slack. I've said this many times before- there is no doubt in my mind that these two had a relationship long before we came to this earth. People are often shocked that Kody calls Jared "dad" and always has. I remember telling Jared, "If you are going to act like his dad, that is what he is going to call you." The word "step" means nothing to our family. Don't get me wrong- Kody knows exactly where he came from, but in our home, we have a two dad's and two mom's. We are lucky to get a "bonus" in each department! I love you Jared, for everything you are to me and my children.


redstarmama said...

I love this post. I have tears in my eyes and I am so glad you all have each other. I know what it means to have a great "second dad", and Kody is a lucky kid to have one like Jared!

Robbie said...

I have to be honest that until I read this post I had completely forgotten that you were married before. I remember when you started coming to our ward and when you started dating Jared. He's a really good guy that I came to respect a lot having worked with him in the ward. I love to hear stories like this where people might stumble and they pick themselves up and succeed beyond measure. Great post.

Jennifer Knight said...

Okay, chickie-doo, time to update your blog.

milesoceanfriends said...

I love this post, Shannon...I'm trying little by little to catch up on your blog and I just read this one and had tears...I love that you guys are so happy...It makes me happy to see a family working together...even thru all the outside drama of our crazy fam, what matters is that you guys are making life work in your little world...that's all that matters, right? You guys are such a great family and Jared is always talking about Kody and Lennix and I love when dads talk about their is so's what sets a Dad apart from just being a father (or step)...Love you guys, Lauren...Love the picture of Jared and Kody...