It's no secret that my relationship with Jared's side of the family has been less than perfect. I don't want to get into all the details because really- who cares?!? Long story short- I will always be on the "outs" with his family. Jared and I have managed to brush in under the carpet for a long time because it's never been an easy subject for either of us to discuss without a huge fight being the result. So we just choose to ignore it. After all isn't ignorance bliss? But, with the upcoming "Bi-Annual Miles Family Cruise" on the horizon, things seem to have gotten a little more personal and hurtful lately.
Over the past few weeks things were increasingly getting worse and I didn't want to go on the cruise anymore. I knew there would be a huge fight and/or some one's feelings would be hurt (they always do) and I didn't want to be a part of it. Seriously, it's for 2 and 1/2 weeks and I will be stuck on a boat for heavens sake! No thank you!! So what was a girl to do? Who do I talk to? How do I tell Jared without him freaking out? Well, I do what I always do....I called Bud.
Most people might be embarrassed to admit they talk to a therapist but I am not one of those people. I love having another opinion and hearing another point of view. I sat down on the couch and unloaded. I had some things to get off my chest to say the least! He smiled. Looked at his watch (which didn't phase me or slow me down at all) and I kept going. When I was all done, he smiled again and said the following things that made every penny I was paying him to listen to me worth it!
Bud: You are not crazy.
Me: But I really think I am getting there.
Bud: You are a great catch and Jared is lucky to have you.
Me: But what if things don't work out with Jared and I? Is your son still single?
Bud: I wouldn't do that to him. You are not an option.
Me: Oh. So what do I do?
Bud: Have you ever seen wheat fields grow? They are beautiful aren't they? You know, when they get really tall and sway in the wind sdjfsjfskakjaf (if you've ever talked to Bud, you know what that means)....
Me: Uhhh, I guess so. (had no clue where this was going)
Bud: Have you ever seen the view of a wheat field from the top? In most fields, there are rock quarries. Little piles here and there in the fields. But you can't see them from our view.
Me: Okay, but back to me being crazy...
Bud: Farmers could spend a lot of time and money to excavate the rocks. But, it would be very hard labor and it really doesn't make a difference if they are there or not. The rocks don't affect the wheat from growing at all.
Me: I don't get it
Bud: Jared's family is your rock quarry. You just need to grow around it and plow that field any ways. No need to excavate the rocks or "fix" the rocks. Just focus on the crop.
Me: (crying now because this is all making sense after 5 years!) Oh.
Bud: That will be $80.
To some, this might not be that big of a deal. To someone like me who has to have everything perfect- this was a major breakthrough. I have come to terms with the fact that this is the hand I am dealt- and that's okay. Sure I don't have the relationship I think I should have with them, but that's okay. I am still a great person and my crop is still worth harvesting! We are going to be just fine!