Saturday, February 7, 2009

Dear Anonymous:

Wow Wow Wow- those were quite the comments you decided to leave on my wife's blog. You were right about one thing: she is not going to post such trash on a blog that is so special and private to her. Lets get something straight: that post had nothing to do with my wife putting me down rather her sharing her feelings about her friends all getting pregnant around her. For you to take away what you did, is purely on your shoulders. My wife and I have spent countless hours discussing what we will and wont share with people regarding our fertility issues and it is because of people like YOU that we don't share our feelings. I love how you posted Anonymously. That says a lot about you. My wife and I knew that by putting our feelings on such a public forum- we could come across such disrespectful people like yourself. For you to say that you "know first hand the feelings that we are going through" and still send a message like the one you did- you should be the one that's ashamed of yourself. As for your comment "I'm sure if he read this, it would crush him"- well, I was sitting next to my wife as she typed that last post and NONE of it makes me "feel blame, or put down, or that I am the cause of her sadness." Unlike you, I fully understand how my wife feels and appreciate her honesty and willingness to talk about those feelings with me. I know EXACTLY what she is going through and am proud of her for sticking with me through out our trials. The reality of the situation Anonymous is that IT IS because of my sperm count, that we have fertility issues. This is obviously something you must have missed. My wife has had to endure so many procedures (most of which are very painful) to bring my child into the world and for that I am forever grateful for her. I remember us having a private conversation after we had Lennix, and we decided we would not do IVF again because of all the hell we had to endure to get that precious little baby here. So when my wife and I started looking at babies with a different longing than we had before, we knew what we were getting ourselves into. Having to ask my wife to go through all the physical, emotional, and financial hardships AGAIN was very difficult. But she is the strongest person I know and I knew she would do it again. And she will do it with the help and support of her friends and family. Which thankfully are nothing like you. I find the comments you left for my wife to be insulting, hurtful and mean spirited. You DO NOT know me, or how I feel and I don't appreciate you thinking that you do. If you have something to say about me- say it to me. Not my wife. If you don't like what my wife has to say on HER blog, don't read it. I never understood why my wife was always so careful with the friends she chooses to have- until now. Thanks to you.

Jared

1 comment:

Donna said...

Jared,
I have read your wonderful blog and am so grateful to see you articulate your feelings so beautifully. Would that all couples could face difficult issues as openly as you and Shannon
have learned to do. Would that all children could have the magnificently wonderful parents that you and Shannon are!